Interview time

Today we have Lauren Strasnick, author of Nothing Like You, which everyone should go buy October 20, 2009! Check her out at LaurenStrasnick.com.


Teens receive so much pressure to be sexually active. Do you think the media is at fault in some ways?
Oh, hard question! And I’m no expert – but yes. Well, yes, and no. I think you’d have to be an extraordinarily strong individual to resist media influence. Teen or not, it’s nearly inescapable! And I’m not just speaking about sexual pressures – what we eat, what we wear, who we like – we’re all vulnerable. That said, do I think teens would still be feeling pressure to be sexually active without media influence? Yes. I think that sort of pressure comes at teens from a billion different angles: friends, significant others, etc. But do I think the media adds to those pressures? Absolutely. Television, movies – they all make sex seem much simpler than it actually is. And I think the media perpetuates the myth that everyone is doing it. When trust me, not everyone is.


So many teens plan this “perfect” first time. Is this a reality?
I think that depends on your expectations. There’s so much importance placed on the physical – I’m not sure many teens prepare properly for the emotional ramifications of sex. If you love the person you’re with, if you go into it expecting an intense emotional experience, I think your expectations might be met. But most people I know would describe their first time as awkward, scary, perplexing, and um, painful (well, okay, most girls).


In your writing what do you try to show readers when it comes to sex?
I try to be as honest as possible when writing sex scenes, sexual themes, etc.


Is there a point at which you think a novel would have too much sexual content to be considered YOUNG ADULT?
Hmm. Another great question! Honestly, I don’t know. I think what’s so fantastic about YA fiction is that there really seems to be no limits. I’m hesitant to say that, yes, if something is too explicit, it shouldn’t be marketed as YA. Personally I see no harm in reading about it. There’s nothing wrong with curiosity – seeking out information about sex, etc. And what’s better than being able to experience something in a book that you may not be ready to experience in life? It’s the safest way I know to curb curiosity.


What would you say to your teenage sister who tells you she is planning on having sex for the first time?
I’d ask: why? What her expectations were. I’d consider her particular situation. Whether she had a boyfriend or girlfriend she felt particularly close to. I’d give a lengthy lecture on safe sex! :) And I’d encourage her to wait if she felt at all pressured. There is absolutely no rush. Seriously, it’s not a race. You have your whole lives to have sex!


Why do you think the media focuses on virginity so much? In almost every sexual book I have read it involves girl’s virginity being lost.
Well, it’s a doorway we all pass through. And I think most teens are curious about sex, whether they’ve had it or not. As adults, we all remember the befores and afters so vividly. How big it felt before it actually happened – and then afterwards comes the realization that we’re all pretty much exactly the same as we were before. It’s a topic that never stops being compelling! Clearly. Teen authors can’t stop writing about it.


Any last thoughts?
Thank you, Ashley, for hosting me on your blog! And for asking such smart, thoughtful questions.

Thank YOU Lauren! As I said, be sure to get your hands on Laurens upcoming release as soon as it comes out :)

Interview :)

Today we have Terra McVoy here to answer a few questions that Lex and I had on our minds!


Sexuality is at large in teen books. Why do you think this is?
Well, it’s pretty much when you are a teenager that you’re first discovering and experimenting with your own sexuality, so it makes sense that books for teens would include it. Plus, there are a lot fewer obstacles to talking openly about sex in novels for teens these days (or anywhere, really), so I think we see more of it.


What would you say to a teen who was thinking of becoming intimate with his or her partner?
I think I would want to make sure that my teenage friend had thought about everything involved (emotional as well as physical) before he or she got into anything serious. Not to scare them, but to, you know, make sure all the bases were covered. Also I’d let them know they could always talk to me, no matter what.


Some people are quick to blame the media when it comes to an increase in sexually active teens. What are your thoughts on this?
I’m certainly not an expert on this topic at all, but I do know there are a lot of opinions out there. One thing I’m not sure of is whether teens are being more sexually active now, or if we are just more aware of it because there’s more about it out there in our culture. Look at Forever, by Judy Blume; Endless Love by Scott Spencer, or even the movie “Grease,” (just to pick one)—teen sex has been out there for awhile, right?


Girls always hope their first time will be amazing. This is fairly unrealistic between two teens in my opinion. Do you agree?
I think there is always the potential for your first encounter with anyone (whether it is your very first time or not) to be either fantastic or a disappointment. That’s what makes the whole thing so thrilling and special—and a little scary, too!


What ideas do you think Pure gives when it comes to sexuality?
It wasn’t my intention for Pure to be a book about sex, really. It’s a book about friendship, and forgiveness, and about choosing your own morality and making decisions for yourself. I think –well, I hope—that Pure does bring to light the unavoidable truth that there are multiple factors to consider when it comes to making decisions (including and perhaps especially your sexual ones), and that it’s important to weigh as much as you can before going through with anything.


So many novels give sex the free, easy and fun vibe. Is it important for teens to see that it’s not always that way?
Not to sound like a broken record, but I think it is always important for everyone to know the potential plusses and minuses of any choice they might make, whether it’s about sex, or a job, or who to vote for, or where to go on vacation. It’s why reading, education, and critical thinking are so valuable to me—seeing something only from one side, from one angle, isn’t really seeing it very well.


I’ve asked so many general questions but have yet to ask what your opinion of teen sex is. So I’m asking…
What I think is that sex can be really complicated, both emotionally and physically, no matter how old you are. It’s easy to know you want it. What’s harder is figuring out why you want it, and to make sure you’re thoroughly informed about (and cool with) everything that could happen around it. But personally I can’t say, “I’m totally for teen sex,” or, “I’m totally against teen sex.” I just know that having sex with someone is an intimate, individual responsibility—at every age.


Any last thoughts?
Thanks so much for these really thought-provoking, interesting questions! I hope I’ve been helpful, and hope that you both enjoy the book!

Thanks so much Terra for coming. If you guys have yet to get your hands on a copy of Pure be sure to do so. We know we will :)

Teens having babies?!

Teen Pregnancy is not a subject to take lightly. Do I think teens should have babies? NO. Do I think teens should use abortion as birth control? NO. Do I think teens should have sex? That is up to the individual. Do I applaud teen moms? YES.

When a teen finds out they are pregnant there are choices to be made. Keep it, abort it or put it up for adoption. The best teen pregnancy books I have read so far are Dancing Naked, Annies Baby, Hanging on to Max and Baby Help. They all have different aspects that are great in them. You can experience pain, loss of childhood and regrets. Baby Help also adds abuse in the mix.

Hanging on to Max is about a father well the rest are about moms. In the end every book has made a choice. I wont give them away but they are all fitting.

From a mom...

For this interview I asked my mom some questions that came to me. It's important to know what our mom's have to say.

You have a 12 year old daughter who loves the books like The Clique. The A-list is like that, except the girls are older and behave worse. Do you have a problem with her reading those?
It really depends on the child.

Do you keep tabs on what your 12 year old reads?
Kind of.

You wouldn’t Allow Ashley to read Forever until 8th grade. Why was this choice made? Will it be the same with the younger one?
Forever was a big deal when I was that age. In today’s culture it really is probably not as shocking as it was for me and my peers. I would probably allow my younger daughter to read it sooner. I guess I’m mellowing with age…

Do you think books are to blame for an increase in the sexuality among teens?
No. I do feel though that books often show sex in a fairytale sort of manner.

Should Middle School libraries be allowed to have copies of The A-list, Gossip Girl, and Forever?
As I haven’t read these books it is hard to say. It would be great though to have books that keep young girls attention without sex having to be such a big part of them.

Do you think teens should be allowed to take sex ed with out parental consent?
Um, probably. I think parents should be notified and allowed to review the curriculum that will be taught. Knowledge is what allows us all to make wise choices.

In Oregon you can get birth control with out parental consent at a young age. Is this good or bad in your opinion?
It is so hard to make things black and white. I just hope that my own daughters will always be able to come to me.

Are you ever shocked to hear of things going on in your daughter’s middle school that are sexual?
Not necessarily shocked, but often saddened.

At what point is the sexual content to high for a book to be Young Adult?
I think the insinuation is enough without needing to be graphic.

If Ashley’s friend was considering becoming sexually active but couldn’t talk to their mom would you help them out?
I would be willing to help them with general facts.

Any Last thoughts?
I think often the fascination with sex is because it is seen as something forbidden. Anyone making the choice to be sexually active needs to be mature enough to understand what all the consequences of this may be.

Forever

Judy Blume is a fantastic writer. Forever is one of my favorites.

So many novels make sex sound so fantastic. The first time is perfect, la-de-da. In reality it can be confusing, painful and messy. Forever captures that through out. I also like how she adds some humor to its seriousness. Ralph anyone? :)

I read Forever in 8th grade. Would I reccommend it then? Probably not. I was a very mature 8th grader. Not one of those sit on the bed laughing like a lunatic types. I knew more than I should and that sometimes got me into sticky situations. Forever was still an eye opener for me. if you are thinking of having sex you should definatly read it.

Gossip Girl and the A list

Have you noticed how sex is such a large aspect in Gossip Girl and The A-List? Whats so great about it?

The focus of virginity is so large it takes away from the rest of the book. I love both of these series but I still think it's rediculous. My opinion of a character will not change based on thier status of virginity.

I know that many people have sex in hgh school but shouldn't there be a different focus? Books like Forever that are all about sex should be left to do into the gritty details about sex. Series about other things could mention it everyonce in a while but must we continually talk about it?

Atleast Gossip Girl preaches safe sex. In I like it like that Nate buys condoms. The A-list has pregnancy scares.

Teen sex Month

Wow two themed months in a row. What a shocker. I have noticed lately how many book for teens involve Sex as a main aspect. I'm not going to put a definition of sex on her because if your parents havn't had THE TALK with you yet you probably shouldn't be reading these books anyways. I have also seen how much teen pregnancy is going on so we will talk about that. Here are some things to expect...
~Interviews
~Forever
~Gossip Girl
~The A-List
~Annie's Baby
~A breif focus on Rape