Only one this week sorry
Second Skin by Jessica WollmanBeauty is only skin deep. Popularity goes much deeper. . . .
Monday, May 18, 2009
Must Monday 22
Here's what I'm waiting for this week :)
Only one this week sorry
Second Skin by Jessica Wollman
Only one this week sorry
Second Skin by Jessica Wollman
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Interview
Daria Snadowsky agreed to anwer the tough questions we all have. Lexi and I interviewed her... This is what she has to say.
With a teen sex as a large aspect in the media can you see why people are quick to blame the media?
The media is certainly a convenient scapegoat, and the constant bombardment of suggestive images in the media probably does make teen sex more permissive. However, the media also reflects society as it is and what it wants to see, so heaping all responsibility on the media may be unfair.
Do you think it’s important for teens to know their options regardless of wither their parents want them to?
Generally, I think too much information is less dangerous than not enough information. So yes, even if parents are urging their children to choose abstinence, I don’t believe that also educating them about protection would be counterproductive.
What influence do you want to give through your writing when it comes to teen sexuality?
With Anatomy of a Boyfriend, I don’t want to influence readers at all about teen sexuality. I just want to show them what the experience is like, for better or for worse. In the end, my book makes no judgment about whether teen sex is right or wrong. That’s for the individual readers to decide for themselves, based on the story and their own beliefs.
Do you think teen sex is a negative thing in all circumstances?
I’d prefer not to think of teen sex as inherently positive or negative. Kids aren’t automatically “good” for abstaining, and kids are certainly not automatically “bad” for acting on their sexual curiosity or romantic feelings. However, teen sex is often a very “bad idea” because of the physical and emotional risks involved.
Do you think teens don’t see the risk in foreplay like they do pure “sex”?
That may be true. Back when I took Health in the early nineties, the emphasis of sex education was how intercourse could transmit HIV, Herpes and HPV. We never learned how all those diseases can still be transmitted through other sexual means as well. Furthermore, we learned about only the physical risks of sex, never the emotional, which are just as important and can be just as permanent.
What would you tell your 15 year old sister who said she might have sex with her boyfriend?
Ideally, I wouldn’t say anything at first. I’d ask why she wanted to go all the way, and I’d listen closely as she explained. At that point, I’d reassure her that her reasons are understandable and normal and even well-meaning, but then I’d present counterpoints stressing all the less-than-romantic consequences that may and often do happen to sexually active teens, especially if the relationship ends in heartbreak. Furthermore, I’d urge her to think this out carefully because fifteen is very young to make such a big decision. Finally, if she does go through with it, I’d want her to know that she doesn’t have to keep going through with it. Although there may seem to be an unbridgeable divide between “virgin” and “non-virgin,” losing your virginity does not mean that you can’t go back to choosing abstinence.
Any last thoughts?
Kids today are lucky that so much helpful information about teen sexuality is available on the internet, whereas in my day we’d have to sneak around outdated library books and rely on (mis)information from our friends. If teens are hungry for information about their sexuality, they should take advantage of websites such as teenwire.com.
Thanks for all the great words of wisdom! Daria is giving one lucky person a copy of anatomy of a boyfriend. Want it? Here's what you have to do:
+1 Comment here. Leave an email
+1 follow
+2 already follow
+2 2 sentences about ahat you would tell a sibling who wants to become sexually active?
+1 If you tell me if you think Sex ed should be required
More points avaliable if you enter at Lexi's blog: http://anotherpageisused.blogspot.com/
With a teen sex as a large aspect in the media can you see why people are quick to blame the media?
The media is certainly a convenient scapegoat, and the constant bombardment of suggestive images in the media probably does make teen sex more permissive. However, the media also reflects society as it is and what it wants to see, so heaping all responsibility on the media may be unfair.
Do you think it’s important for teens to know their options regardless of wither their parents want them to?
Generally, I think too much information is less dangerous than not enough information. So yes, even if parents are urging their children to choose abstinence, I don’t believe that also educating them about protection would be counterproductive.
What influence do you want to give through your writing when it comes to teen sexuality?
With Anatomy of a Boyfriend, I don’t want to influence readers at all about teen sexuality. I just want to show them what the experience is like, for better or for worse. In the end, my book makes no judgment about whether teen sex is right or wrong. That’s for the individual readers to decide for themselves, based on the story and their own beliefs.
Do you think teen sex is a negative thing in all circumstances?
I’d prefer not to think of teen sex as inherently positive or negative. Kids aren’t automatically “good” for abstaining, and kids are certainly not automatically “bad” for acting on their sexual curiosity or romantic feelings. However, teen sex is often a very “bad idea” because of the physical and emotional risks involved.
Do you think teens don’t see the risk in foreplay like they do pure “sex”?
That may be true. Back when I took Health in the early nineties, the emphasis of sex education was how intercourse could transmit HIV, Herpes and HPV. We never learned how all those diseases can still be transmitted through other sexual means as well. Furthermore, we learned about only the physical risks of sex, never the emotional, which are just as important and can be just as permanent.
What would you tell your 15 year old sister who said she might have sex with her boyfriend?
Ideally, I wouldn’t say anything at first. I’d ask why she wanted to go all the way, and I’d listen closely as she explained. At that point, I’d reassure her that her reasons are understandable and normal and even well-meaning, but then I’d present counterpoints stressing all the less-than-romantic consequences that may and often do happen to sexually active teens, especially if the relationship ends in heartbreak. Furthermore, I’d urge her to think this out carefully because fifteen is very young to make such a big decision. Finally, if she does go through with it, I’d want her to know that she doesn’t have to keep going through with it. Although there may seem to be an unbridgeable divide between “virgin” and “non-virgin,” losing your virginity does not mean that you can’t go back to choosing abstinence.
Any last thoughts?
Kids today are lucky that so much helpful information about teen sexuality is available on the internet, whereas in my day we’d have to sneak around outdated library books and rely on (mis)information from our friends. If teens are hungry for information about their sexuality, they should take advantage of websites such as teenwire.com.
Thanks for all the great words of wisdom! Daria is giving one lucky person a copy of anatomy of a boyfriend. Want it? Here's what you have to do:
+1 Comment here. Leave an email
+1 follow
+2 already follow
+2 2 sentences about ahat you would tell a sibling who wants to become sexually active?
+1 If you tell me if you think Sex ed should be required
More points avaliable if you enter at Lexi's blog: http://anotherpageisused.blogspot.com/
Friday, May 15, 2009
Interview time :)
The lovely Sara Zarr agreed to be interviewed by Lexi and I for this special month. Here are her thoughts.
What is the most important thing teens can learn regarding sexuality from novels?
Honestly, I don't think of novels as teaching tools, but one of the best things fiction can do for anyone is let them know they aren't alone. And reading about a character's feelings and experiences, if they're similar to yours, can help you identify and articulate complex emotions and then maybe provide a springboard for talking about those things with friends, parents, whoever.
Should sex education be mandatory?
In an ideal world, parents would be willing and able and equipped to talk to their teens about sex---the mechanics, the biology, and the emotional and spiritual stuff, too. But, we don't live in an ideal world, and there has to be a way to get at least the basic information to everyone. School is the easiest forum for making that happen efficiently. I do understand parents' reluctance to see their kids grow up, and concern over how sex ed curriculum is designed and communicated, but fear of information never leads anywhere good. All you have to do is look at the AIDS epidemic in Africa to see what happens when social and cultural taboos perpetuate misinformation (or no information).
How could someone work to remove the label of “slut”? Does your novel show this?
I have no idea! Whenever I write a book, I'm just trying to tell that one story, and I never know if/how that's going to apply or resonate to any other specific person. The thing about labels is that they almost always start from the outside. Someone outside of yourself labels you as slut, brain, dork, ugly, pretty, bitch, good girl, whatever. Just as we really can't control the labels other people give us, we can't control undoing that label, either. The hard part is when we internalize the labels, and believe them, and then start acting in self-destructive ways because of them. Like, "Everyone already thinks I'm a slut and no matter what I do they won't change their minds, so I might as well sleep around...at least it gives me an identity."
I think the key is really KNOWING your own identity, regardless of what other people say, and also having compassion for yourself when you make mistakes. That's hard. It's basically a lifelong project. I think the hope for Deanna in Story of a Girl is that even though she only has a couple of friends, she's chosen them wisely. She doesn't hang around people who put her down or reinforce a negative identity, and those relationships help her get through a hard time.
At what point is a book to smutty to be considered teen?
That's a question that readers, teachers, librarians, parents, publishers, and marketers have been trying to answer for years, and I certainly don't have any new insights. For me, whether it's a teen book or an adult book or a movie or whatever, it's all about context. Is the sex there just to turn people on and get notoriety? Or does it have an important purpose in the story? For me, whatever the smut factor is, or the language, or anything, it has to earn its right to be there by mattering for the story and characters.
Any last thoughts?
These are merely the opinions of a lowly writer who spends most of her time in a fantasy world, so take it all with a grain of salt!
Thanks for these wonderful answers Sara! Now I have a question for my readers... Where do you think the line should be drawn for books that are targeted at teens?
What is the most important thing teens can learn regarding sexuality from novels?
Honestly, I don't think of novels as teaching tools, but one of the best things fiction can do for anyone is let them know they aren't alone. And reading about a character's feelings and experiences, if they're similar to yours, can help you identify and articulate complex emotions and then maybe provide a springboard for talking about those things with friends, parents, whoever.
Should sex education be mandatory?
In an ideal world, parents would be willing and able and equipped to talk to their teens about sex---the mechanics, the biology, and the emotional and spiritual stuff, too. But, we don't live in an ideal world, and there has to be a way to get at least the basic information to everyone. School is the easiest forum for making that happen efficiently. I do understand parents' reluctance to see their kids grow up, and concern over how sex ed curriculum is designed and communicated, but fear of information never leads anywhere good. All you have to do is look at the AIDS epidemic in Africa to see what happens when social and cultural taboos perpetuate misinformation (or no information).
How could someone work to remove the label of “slut”? Does your novel show this?
I have no idea! Whenever I write a book, I'm just trying to tell that one story, and I never know if/how that's going to apply or resonate to any other specific person. The thing about labels is that they almost always start from the outside. Someone outside of yourself labels you as slut, brain, dork, ugly, pretty, bitch, good girl, whatever. Just as we really can't control the labels other people give us, we can't control undoing that label, either. The hard part is when we internalize the labels, and believe them, and then start acting in self-destructive ways because of them. Like, "Everyone already thinks I'm a slut and no matter what I do they won't change their minds, so I might as well sleep around...at least it gives me an identity."
I think the key is really KNOWING your own identity, regardless of what other people say, and also having compassion for yourself when you make mistakes. That's hard. It's basically a lifelong project. I think the hope for Deanna in Story of a Girl is that even though she only has a couple of friends, she's chosen them wisely. She doesn't hang around people who put her down or reinforce a negative identity, and those relationships help her get through a hard time.
At what point is a book to smutty to be considered teen?
That's a question that readers, teachers, librarians, parents, publishers, and marketers have been trying to answer for years, and I certainly don't have any new insights. For me, whether it's a teen book or an adult book or a movie or whatever, it's all about context. Is the sex there just to turn people on and get notoriety? Or does it have an important purpose in the story? For me, whatever the smut factor is, or the language, or anything, it has to earn its right to be there by mattering for the story and characters.
Any last thoughts?
These are merely the opinions of a lowly writer who spends most of her time in a fantasy world, so take it all with a grain of salt!
Thanks for these wonderful answers Sara! Now I have a question for my readers... Where do you think the line should be drawn for books that are targeted at teens?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Interview!
Susane Colasanti is visiting us today to discuss teen sexuality.
Her books include:
When it happens
Take me There
Waiting for YouAshley: Your new book to soon be released is Waiting for You. Who do you think will be the most intrigued by this novel? Younger teens? Older?
S.C: I’m stoked that Waiting for You will be released on May 14! The characters in this book are sophomores, so they’re a bit younger than my usual characters. I love writing about older teens, but I wanted to tell the story of slightly younger kids so that younger readers could relate to this book in a more meaningful way. I also have adult readers who are looking forward to reading this book. That’s the cool thing about YA novels – they appeal to a wide audience.
Ashley: What would you say the main theme of Waiting for You is?
SC: You can usually find themes about creating your ideal life or the importance of taking chances in my books. These concepts definitely apply to Waiting for You. One of the book’s themes explores how we can enhance our lives by living in the moment, what my main character calls “the Now.” When we live in the Now, we relate to the world in a totally refreshing way. I hope my readers will be inspired to try it.
Ashley: Does it compare in any aspects to your previous novels?
SC: All of my books have similarities. At the heart of each one is a story about soul mates. I love writing about relationships, both the good and bad times. This story looks at the waiting we’ve all felt for our lives to begin and how hard it is to wait for true love to find us. Longing, wishing, and hoping are always present on some level in my books. Oh, and there’s an adorable boy in this book, too. I always like to write about adorable boys.
Ashley: Teen relationships and sexuality are all over the media. Do you have any thoughts on this subject?
SC: Kids are exposed to way more than they should be. The prevalence of sexually explicit images is increasing at an alarming rate. It seems like teens don’t have the opportunity to be teens anymore. I feel like so many teens are rushing into heavy situations before they’re ready. A lot of kids are doing more than they’re comfortable with, whether it’s dressing provocatively or becoming physically intimate, because it seems like everyone else is doing those things (they’re not). Moving too quickly now can cause immense problems later.
I want kids to know that they’re not alone. Everyone feels pressured or rushed at some point, and the choice to resist negative influences is yours. You are in charge of your body and your mind - no one else. So think about the person you want to be, and then make choices that will help you become that person. Disrespecting yourself can only lead to regret. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will.
Ashley: One last question, what would you tell a teen who is getting "really" serious with her boyfriend?
SC: The most important thing is to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself. If you’re having sex, you must have safer sex. Sex is never 100% safe, since there is always the risk of pregnancy or contracting an STI (sexually transmitted infection), but there are ways you can make it safer. Make sure that you are using at least one form of birth control and that you are using it correctly.
On an emotional level, I would strongly advise teens to only get physically serious with someone they know and love. It takes time to connect with another person in a real way. When I hear about teens sleeping with their boyfriend or girlfriend after being together for only a few months, it makes me sad. No one should do anything they’re not ready for. No one should be forced into an uncomfortable situation. The whole, “If you really loved me, then you’d do this” manipulation is skeezy. If someone truly loves you, that love will be there no matter how far you go. For serious.
Ashley: Thanks so much for coming :)
SC: Thank you, Ashley! Please let readers know that I love connecting with them. Here’s where they can find me:
Website: http://www.susanecolasanti.com
Blog: http://windowlight.livejournal.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/people/Susane-Colasanti/678479550
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/susanecolasanti
Twitter: http://twitter.com/susanecolasanti
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wishlist
Here's whats on my wishlist this week :)
Waiting for You by Susane Colasanti
Pure by Terra Elan McVoy
Family Fortune by Laurie Horowitz
Hanging on to Max by Margaret Bechard
Waiting for You by Susane ColasantiAt the beginning of her sophomore year, Marisa is ready for a fresh start and, more importantly, a boyfriend. So when the handsome and popular Derek asks her out, Marisa thinks her long wait for happiness is over. But several bumps in the road—including her parents' unexpected separation, a fight with her best friend, and a shocking disappointment in her relationship with Derek—test Marisa's ability to maintain her new outlook. Only the anonymous DJ, whose underground podcasts have the school's ear, seems to understand what Marisa is going through. But she has no idea who he is—or does she?
Pure by Terra Elan McVoyTabitha and her four best friends all wear Purity Rings, symbols of the virginity-until-marriage pledge they made as tweens. Now the girls are fifteen, and their rings have come to symbolize not only their purity, but also the friendships and identities they've built based on their shared faith. Simmering tensions rise to the surface and the group is split apart when one of Tab's friends admits that she and her long-term boyfriend have broken the pledge. In the midst of the confrontations, betrayals, confessions, and revenge that follow, each girl is forced to reexamine her friendships, her faith, and what exactly it means to be pure.
Family Fortune by Laurie HorowitzJane Fortune's fortunes have taken a downturn. Thanks to the profligate habits of her father and older sister, the family's money has evaporated and Jane has to move out of the only home she's ever known: a stately brick town house on Boston's prestigious Beacon Hill. Thirty-eight and terminally single, Jane has never pursued idle pleasures like her sibling and father. Instead, she has devoted her time to running the Fortune Family Foundation, a revered philanthropic institution that has helped spark the careers of many a budding writer, including Max Wellman, Jane's first—and only—love.
Hanging on to Max by Margaret BechardIt's Sam Pettigrew's last year of high school. And he's spending it figuring out how, at age seventeen, he is supposed to care for his baby son, Max.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Teens having babies?!
Teen Pregnancy is not a subject to take lightly. Do I think teens should have babies? NO. Do I think teens should use abortion as birth control? NO. Do I think teens should have sex? That is up to the individual. Do I applaud teen moms? YES.
When a teen finds out they are pregnant there are choices to be made. Keep it, abort it or put it up for adoption. The best teen pregnancy books I have read so far are Dancing Naked, Annies Baby, Hanging on to Max and Baby Help. They all have different aspects that are great in them. You can experience pain, loss of childhood and regrets. Baby Help also adds abuse in the mix.
Hanging on to Max is about a father well the rest are about moms. In the end every book has made a choice. I wont give them away but they are all fitting.
When a teen finds out they are pregnant there are choices to be made. Keep it, abort it or put it up for adoption. The best teen pregnancy books I have read so far are Dancing Naked, Annies Baby, Hanging on to Max and Baby Help. They all have different aspects that are great in them. You can experience pain, loss of childhood and regrets. Baby Help also adds abuse in the mix.
Hanging on to Max is about a father well the rest are about moms. In the end every book has made a choice. I wont give them away but they are all fitting.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Must Monday
Here is what I'm patiently waiting for this week :)
~Girl Stays in the Picture by Melissa de la Cruz~
If you can't be a mega teen superstar sensation then maybe you'll be lucky enough to join her entourage.
Devon — one name only, please — is the latest and jail-bait-est pop star to hit number one on the Billboard chart, and she's making her big-screen debut in Juicy. But after her stint in rehab, the studio isn't so sure she's their girl anymore. If they cut any more of her lines, she'll be a silent film actress! Can Devon regain her star status? She needs to watch her back and make sure that flash doesn't catch her causing a scene, and we don't mean the kind you can yell "Cut!" after.
Livia has lost the weight and gained the attitude in the Hollywood party scene. Her dad's an Oscar-winning producer, and with a hot Beverly Hills boyfriend on her arm as well as her photos all over the pages of Gosizzle.com, Livia looks like she has a perfect life. But looks can be perfectly deceiving....
And there's fresh-faced Casey, who left a job bagging groceries at the Piggly Wiggly to play personal assistant to her best friend...and Devon's rival. She's got the biggest crush on the biggest star of the film — a hot Brit known for loving and leaving. Will Casey stay true to herself while trying to find a place in his universe?
Stars. They're just like us. But what does that mean for the rest of us? Stay tuned, people.
Unclaimed Hearts by Kim Wilkins
But Constance Blackchurch is insatiable, headstrong, and complex; and the quest to find her missing mother is too much to resist...
...as is Alexandre Sans-Nom, the pearl diver who steals her heart, uproots all of her social expectations, and can either ruin or save the family she loves.
~Girl Stays in the Picture by Melissa de la Cruz~
If you can't be a mega teen superstar sensation then maybe you'll be lucky enough to join her entourage.
Devon — one name only, please — is the latest and jail-bait-est pop star to hit number one on the Billboard chart, and she's making her big-screen debut in Juicy. But after her stint in rehab, the studio isn't so sure she's their girl anymore. If they cut any more of her lines, she'll be a silent film actress! Can Devon regain her star status? She needs to watch her back and make sure that flash doesn't catch her causing a scene, and we don't mean the kind you can yell "Cut!" after.
Livia has lost the weight and gained the attitude in the Hollywood party scene. Her dad's an Oscar-winning producer, and with a hot Beverly Hills boyfriend on her arm as well as her photos all over the pages of Gosizzle.com, Livia looks like she has a perfect life. But looks can be perfectly deceiving....
And there's fresh-faced Casey, who left a job bagging groceries at the Piggly Wiggly to play personal assistant to her best friend...and Devon's rival. She's got the biggest crush on the biggest star of the film — a hot Brit known for loving and leaving. Will Casey stay true to herself while trying to find a place in his universe?
Stars. They're just like us. But what does that mean for the rest of us? Stay tuned, people.
Unclaimed Hearts by Kim WilkinsThe rules for a young English woman in 1799 are simple: Do what you're told; stay out of the way; and don't, under any circumstances, ask questions.
But Constance Blackchurch is insatiable, headstrong, and complex; and the quest to find her missing mother is too much to resist...
...as is Alexandre Sans-Nom, the pearl diver who steals her heart, uproots all of her social expectations, and can either ruin or save the family she loves.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Interview With Tina Ferraro
Tina is a young adult author. When I asked her about her books for teen sexuality month she told me there was lots of kissing but no sex. I think it's important to see that Relationships can be clean and fun.
Tina's clean YA books.
Tina's clean YA books.Ashley: As a teen I think it's important to see that relationships can be clean. Your books show this. Was that important to you?
Tina: Many teens put friendships, family, grades and goals before serious romantic relationships, and I not only feel strongly that this is a good way to live, but as an author, it struck me that these kids were under-represented. I set out to be a voice for this demographic, and I believe I've met that goal.
Ashley: So many teens are having sex so early these days. There is a 6th grader preggers at my sisters school. Do you have an oppinion of this matter?
Tina: I can't comment on any one person's actions or situation, but I don't endorse sexual activity before adulthood.
Ashley: Who is the best role model in your books?
Tina: I'd like to think that all three of my main characters (Nicolette in Top Ten Uses for an Unworn Prom Dress, Kate in How to Hook a Hottie, and Parker in The ABC's of Kissing Boys) are good role models, for they address the challenges before them, and try (with some margin of error and emotional growth) to make the best decisions.
Ashley: Any advice you would give a teen when her boyfriend wants to get serious?
Tina: More important than what he wants is what you want. Examine your interests, map out an idea for your future (college, career), and make that your priority.
Ashley: Thanks so much for taking the time to chat with me!
Tina: Thank YOU.
Tina: Many teens put friendships, family, grades and goals before serious romantic relationships, and I not only feel strongly that this is a good way to live, but as an author, it struck me that these kids were under-represented. I set out to be a voice for this demographic, and I believe I've met that goal.
Ashley: So many teens are having sex so early these days. There is a 6th grader preggers at my sisters school. Do you have an oppinion of this matter?
Tina: I can't comment on any one person's actions or situation, but I don't endorse sexual activity before adulthood.
Ashley: Who is the best role model in your books?
Tina: I'd like to think that all three of my main characters (Nicolette in Top Ten Uses for an Unworn Prom Dress, Kate in How to Hook a Hottie, and Parker in The ABC's of Kissing Boys) are good role models, for they address the challenges before them, and try (with some margin of error and emotional growth) to make the best decisions.
Ashley: Any advice you would give a teen when her boyfriend wants to get serious?
Tina: More important than what he wants is what you want. Examine your interests, map out an idea for your future (college, career), and make that your priority.
Ashley: Thanks so much for taking the time to chat with me!
Tina: Thank YOU.
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