Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea
Chelsea Handler
Gallery
$16.00
December 2009
FTC: This is a library book. I am not being compensated in any manner for my review.

Total grade: B

Sexual content: heavy
Violence: moderate
Drugs: moderate
Underage drinking: mild
Swearing: heavy
Total rating: 16+

Summary:
When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world -- a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.

In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.

My Thoughts:
This book was damn funny, I will give it that. There was especially one part where I could not stop cracking up. A few of the stories left me saying, “okay?” Most of them were hilarious. The things Chelsea has faced in her life make an interesting life story, that is for sure. From Lesbian kisses in jail to having a thing against men with red hair you will experience quite the story.

The book is crude and rude, but what else would you expect Chelsea? Anyone who would want to read her memoirs would know she is gonna be down and dirty. Come on, she has a book about one night stands!

I recommend this to fans of Chelsea Lately.

Playlist:
1. I Am NOT a WHORE (LMFAO)
2. Stripper (SoHo Dolls)
3. Little Freak (Usher)
4. Flashing Lights (Kanye West)
5. 3 (Britney Spears)

Not Quite What I Was Planning

Not Quite What I Was Planning

Many

Smith Magazine

$16.95 (Hardback)

2008

FTC: This is a library book. I am not being compensated in any way for reviewing this book.

Total grade: A

Sexual content: mild

Violence: mild

Drugs: mild

Underage drinking: none

Swearing: heavy

Total rating: 13+

Summary: (Amazon)

Can you describe your life in six words? That's what the editors of storytelling magazine SMITH asked readers in 2006; the results, though decidedly uneven, make for compulsive reading and prove arguably as insightful as any 300+ page biography. Taken as a whole, this cascade of quotes from contributors famous and unknown creates a dizzying snowball effect of perspectives and feelings. Highlights from professional writers and artists include journalist Chuck Klosterman wondering, "Nobody cared, then they did. Why?"; pop singer-songwriter Adam Schlesinger lamenting, "We still don't hear a single"; and comic strip artist Keith Knight illustrating "I was a Michael Jackson impersonator." At their best, these nano-memoirs evoke the same kind of rich emotional responses as a good story: 9 year old Hannah Davies considers herself "Cursed with cancer. Blessed by friends"; Zak Nelson says "I still make coffee for two"; Scott Birch claims "Most successful accomplishments based on spite." Some entries read like bumper stickers (Rip Riley: "No wife. No kids. No problems"), and others are just plain weird (Amy Sedaris: "Mushrooms. Clowns. Wands. Five. Wig. Thatched"), but this compelling little book will have readers and their friends hunting for favorites and inventing six-word self-definitions of their own.

My Thoughts:

I had reviewed the teen version of this book a while back and LOVED it. It’s a quick read and interesting seeing people describe their life in only six words. Many of these were thought provoking. There was some heavy language but it was people’s life stories. They deserve to tell their story how they see fit.

I recommend this book to just about everyone!

My six-word memoir: Trying to please everyone doesn’t work.