Abuse Stories

Last night I was kinda in a sad mood. When I'm sad I watch True Hollywood Story Investigates. Abuse was all over them last night. A 14 year old got preggers by a 20 year old. He decided to start kicking her in the belly so the baby wouldn't happen. A military man was molesting a 17 year old girl. He would slap her if she didn't go with it. I for one am now shaken.

Wednesday Wishlist

This is whats on my wishlist for the week :)

Kisses and Lies by Lauren Henderson

After discovering that someone saw what looked like Dan’s emergency EpiPen in A-lister Plum’s designer handbag, Scarlett and her tough American sidekick, Taylor, sneak into a posh London nightclub, where Plum has a private table. Scarlett is stunned to discover a piece of evidence that might implicate another girl in Plum’s exclusive circle, Lucy Raleigh. Which means Scarlett must cast a wider net in order to catch the right suspect.

Back at school, groundskeeper Jase is hoping to take Scarlett’s mind off her troubles with some heart-stopping kisses. Scarlett can’t help but feel guilty for indulging in romantic rendezvous when she should be hunting down Dan’s killer. However, once Scarlett finds out how Lucy is connected to Dan, she knows she must drop everything and travel to the McAndrew estate in Scotland to hunt for more clues. But when she arrives, Scarlett becomes the target of a dangerous hunt herself.

Kiss Me Kill Me by Lauren Henderson

When 16-year-old Scarlett Wakefield transfers from St. Tabby’s to Wakefield Hall Collegiate, she is relieved that no one knows her dark, haunting secret. A few months ago, Scarlett was invited to an elite party with a guest list full of the hottest names in British society, including Dan McAndrew. Before the party, Scarlett had only imagined what it would be like to have her first kiss with Dan, but on the penthouse terrace, Dan leaned in close and she no longer had to wonder. Their kiss was beautiful and perfect and magical, and then . . . Dan McAndrew took his last breath as she held him in her arms. No one knows how or why Dan died, and everyone at St. Tabby’s believes Scarlett had something to do with it. But now that she’s safely hidden away at Wakefield Hall, Scarlett would rather forget that it ever happened. Only she can’t. Especially when she receives an anonymous note that will set her on the path to clearing her name and finding out what really happened to the first and last boy she kissed.

Would You by Marthe Jocelyn

A summer night. An accident. Life changes in a heartbeat.

~Dark Angel by V.C. Andrews~

In her grandmother's fine, rich Boston house, Heaven Leigh Casteel dreamed of a wonderful new life of new friends, the best schools, beautiful clothes and most important, love. The pearls of culture, wisdom and breeding would now be hers. Soon she would make the Casteel name respectable, find her brothers and sisters, and have a family again.

~Heaven by VC Andrews~

Heaven Leigh Casteel was the prettiest, smartest girl in the backwoods, despite her ragged clothes and dirty face...despite a father meaner than ten vipers...despite her weary stepmother, who worked her like a mule. For her brother Tom and the little ones, Heaven clung to her pride and her hopes. Someday they'd get away and show the world that they were decent, fine and talented — worthy of love and respect.

Not my usual review

So I'm finishing DreamLand and decided to do a unique review. Comments?

Dreamland was incredible. the start was slow but once the abuse started I was bawling. Why the hell would a girl put up with that? If my boyfriend (Bryant I love ya : >) was beating the crap out of me for being ten seconds late or saying hi to my male teacher we would be so done.

I have a few question: For those of you who have read this book. I will post my favorite answers here tomorrow but.... What do you think keeps her from telling?

Why does she give up all her chances?

Why does she turn to sex to avoid her pain?

Why the hell would you lose your V-card to someone who beats you for random crap?

Yes all of those things do happen in this book. There is the best friend who should realize somethings up but doesn't. The over involved mom who still cant see through. AND the pain in the butt boyfriend who thinks its okay to "control" his girlfriend by beating the stuffing out of her. This is a must read girls. This is a must read guys! This is a must read moms. You will all be effected by the depth Sarah Dessen put in

Coming Soon Must Monday

It's Monday... we all know what that means :)



Two books I'm anxiously awaiting this week!



Tricks by Ellen Hopkins

Available August 25th! Go buy it!

The Hollow
When Abbey's best friend, Kristen, vanishes at the bridge near Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, everyone else is all too quick to accept that Kristen is dead and rumors fly that her death was no accident. Abbey goes through the motions of mourning her best friend, but privately, she refuses to believe that Kristen is really gone. It only makes things worse that everyone now treats Abbey like either a freak show or a charity case. Thank goodness for Caspian, the gorgeous and mysterious boy who shows up out of nowhere at Kristen's funeral, and keeps reappearing in Abbey's life. Caspian clearly has secrets of his own, but he's the only person who makes Abbey feel normal again...but also special.

Buy it October 6th

Updates and such

Here is an important update... Weekly Mail Call will no longer be weekly until June! It will be every other week :)

Also contest winners:


Courage in Patience goes to.... JJ! If you could please email me your addy I would be happy to mail this to you asap.

The winner of the Elite: Laina! email me your addy so I can get it to Jennifer!

The Winner of In Too Deep: Polo Pony! Please email me your addy so I can get it to Jennifer!

princessashley9@gmail.com

Interview with Judy

Have you experienced abuse or seen a friend abused?
Well, there are many kinds of abuse and I think that when people think of abuse, they're thinking about physical abuse or assault. I did not experience that as a child but I watched my best friend go through it for years- first with her father and then with her boyfriends. On the other hand, I was the victim of emotional and verbal abuse as a child, and also neglect, which I believe is a form of abuse. I don't think that one kind is worse than the other. All forms of abuse intimidate, shame, and damage children (or adults) and overcoming that takes a tremendous amount of work. Or a lifetime.

Should penalties be higher for the abusers?
I honestly don't know what the penalties are from state to state, so I can't say. I work with an advocacy group for victims of violent crimes and I know that without help, trauma can fill a life for a very long time. I don't think courts should be lenient with people who damage others, especially children.

Why do so many people get away with it?
For the most part, women are afraid to tell on their abusers because they fear reprisal. What if you lived with a man who abused you and held your life in his hands? What if he held the purse strings too? How could you break away from that and turn this person in? Many abused people are very beat down and not able to get out or report their abusers. Sometimes if they do, they are stalked and killed.

Bad Girls Club portrays such strong graphics. What did you want to get across?
I wanted people to get into the head of a parentified and abused child and take the ride with her. My greatest desire was for readers to truly feel and experience the life that my main character had and to fully sympathize with her. I believe I was successful at doing that. But there are no graphic scenes of abuse in my book. Anything that happens, other than some verbal sword fights, happen off stage and for good reason. My book wasn't about victimizing the victim, which is a form of literature I have no interest in. My book was about how this teen found a way to survive, how she subsequently lost her soul and her identity and then had to pick herself up and find a way to find her life. I don't know that you can understand what that is like unless you have been there and I wanted to take the reader into Destiny's head for a while and let them get on that roller coaster with her so that they'd understand why she couldn't turn in her mother and father and why she had to protect her father. Children like this are very loyal and very protective of their parents. A child's attachment to an abusing parent is very crooked but it's very strong. It's easy for people to say, "Oh, you should do something about this," but until you've been in those shoes, you don't know what you will or won't be able to do. I also wanted to show the people around a teenager like this--the friend who is loyal (to a detriment), the people on the outside who watch and do nothing. And family members who live in denial. I've had many people--reviewers, teachers, librarians, and mental health experts--compare my book to A Child Called It, but they all say that it truly explains the generational cycle of abuse in a way that the light goes on and you can say, "Ah, hah! I get it now." And that is what I set out to do.
I think child abuse is one of the worst crimes ever. Do you agree or disagree?Hurting a little child who cannot defend herself is an awful crime. I do believe it's one of the worst crimes ever. But abusers pick on small people because they can get away with it. Maybe that's why they're in real danger once they get inside a prison because it's considered a very vile crime.

With the abuse we already give ourselves (the fight to be thin, to be perfect, the cutting, drinking etc.) we dont need adults adding. What would you say to that?
I think they're very different things but I agree that we don't need anyone adding problems to our lives. I can't tell you the years I spent getting over the shame I felt about who I was and what I saw in my own home as a child. I could tell you stories that would make your blood curdle, even though I was never physically hit. But I was so beat into the ground by what went on there, for which my parents were responsible, and the wounds were not visible. That is one point I made in my book. Destiny had no visible wounds. Does that mean she's not damaged or dying inside?

Any last thoughts?
It's great that we have a month to talk about these issues. I wish I could stand in front of crowds of teenagers and talk to them about these things. Kids need to understand how their words and actions can hurt someone and there's a whole group of kids out there who are hurting and need help and they don't know who to reach out to. I'd like to help them find resources so they can heal.

Thanks so much Judy! Check out her book Bad Girls Club for more info on child abuse. If you or someone you know are being abused contact your local law enforcement.

Fab Friday

If you would like your blog spotlighted on a friday email me at Princessashley9 AT gmail DOT com.

Blog Link: http://peacelovevote.blogspot.com

How did you learn about blogging?: It was just all over the news about "online journals". I first really got interested in Book Blogging when I first started reading Book Chic's blog on MySpace. His blog was the one that I was most interested in when I looked at the blogs I subscribed to.

Opinions of people who blog for free books: If you start a blog for free books, you are not a real book blogger. You are just a person who wants to take advantage of nice people.

Something unique about you or your blogging: I am not your average teenager. I try to stay in the shadows, so I will not speak much, but I can get attention with just my fashion. (I also didn't start talking until I was 3 years old.)

Person who taught you the most about blogging: Not necessarily taught me, but who inspired me the most is Book Chic.

When did you learn to read: I was about 5.

Who taught you: My dad

Favorite book: There are way too many to choose from.

Interview time

Blog link: http://booksforteensreviews.blogspot.com/

If you babysit for a child and can tell they are abused what would you do?
From past experiences, I have found out that the only way that you can get any professional help if a child is being abused, whether they are being abused physically, or verbally is if you have hands on truth. If I was babysitting a child in an abusive situation that was being verbally mistreated, the child would need to tell me what was going on, and preferably, I should have it recorded as evidence, for it to the case to even be seriously looked at. If the child told and showed me an injury that was in result of being abused, I would have to see it and then report it instead of her friend telling me, and then me reporting it. If I was babysitting a child that was being abused I would try to get as much proof as I could so that the case could be taken seriously and be considered.

Best Child abuse/ rape book?
I haven't read to many child abuse/rape books, however, "Touch" by Francine Prose (coming out in June!!) is about a teenage girl who is touched inappropriately in the back seat of a school bus by her jealous 'supposedly' best friends. I haven't read it yet, but "Living Dead Girl" sounds like it will be an amazing book, and is also on this subject.

Best abuse/ rape songs?
"Cold as You" by Taylor Swift

Why do you think child abuse is soo high right now?
I think that part of the reason child abuse is so high right now is partly because of the economy. It is sad, but I think that more people are getting depressed, mad, sad, and well, meaner because of it, making them more inclined to do this. I also think that people are starting to get lazier and not be as careful, resulting in doing the wrong things without even thinking things through first. I wish that people would think about what they are doing, and what they would think if someone was doing it to them.

Any other thoughts?
Verbal abuse can be as bad as physical abuse. Verbal abuse may not affect children physically, however, it affects and changes the way they think for the rest of their lives unless it is helped. When your own parents say that they don't like you, wish you weren't alive, and that they will "kill" you if you don't do something really affects the way you think, act, and are as a being. However, verbal abuse probably isn't as well taken care of because you cant prove it unless you have proof. There may not be any bruises on the outside, but in the inside they can be larger than life.

Thank you Ashley for letting me guest interview!! Also, thanks so much for using this month to get the word out about child abuse, I hope that the world can get a little brighter!

If you are a friend is being abused contact your local police or RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE(4673).

Help me help...

Okay so I have a question for all my followers/ fellow bloggers...

In July I want to have a week devoted to the differences in writing between young adult and adult books. I need a few things though... :)

3 fellow bloggers who want to join me and participate with their blog :)
1. http://www.iheartmonster.com/
2.
3.

3 or 4 Young Adult authors willing to participate:
1. Rhonda Stapleton
2. 8 Word Ninjas (ALL OF THEN :))
3.
4.


3 or 4 adult authors willing to participate
1.
2.
3.
4.

If you want more info email me at Princessashley9@gmail.com

If your in comment here and I'll add you. We will pick a week that works for all.

New bloggy stuff

As you can see my blog is looking brank spankin new! Thats all thanks to Kelsey from http://justblindedbookreviews.blogspot.com/ who designed all this for me. thoughts?

Guest Review:

I read Such a Pretty Girl for the first time two and a half years ago and there hasn’t been a week that’s gone by when I haven’t thought about it. This book changed my life the second I opened it and read its pages. Such a Pretty Girl has made me aware about the subject of sexual abuse. When 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused in her lifetime I think it’s something every female should of some knowledge of. That a scary statistic, isn’t it?

Such a Pretty Girl is the perfect book to start learning about it because Laura Wiess really digs into the subject and shows the effect that it has on its victim, Meredith; though she doesn’t like to think of herself as one. She is the strongest, bravest character that I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. Period. Meredith is the kind of character that all sexually assaulted victims can look up to because—even though she puts herself in harms way—she takes charge of her life and changes it for the better. I admire her greatly for that.

It is heart breaking when people like Meredith’s mother turn a blind eye to what is happening right before them. She was so frustrating, not only as a mother, but as a person and character in general. The way she ignored Meredith and her abuse was absolutely heartbreaking. I had to look away and put the book down so many times because it was so hard to read.

I don’t want to give away too much because this is a story that Meredith needs to tell readers herself; she is such a wonderful character and she has something to say to everyone who takes a chance and picks up this once in a lifetime book. Laura Wiess is an amazing author and she tells this amazing story with such heartfelt truth!


Kelsey (Just Blinded Book Reviews),http://justblindedbookreviews.blogspot.com

Must Monday

Peace, Love, and Baby Ducks by Lauren Myracle

An honest narrator grounds this sweet story about two sisters learning to accept their differences-and help each other grow up. The sisters, who live in an exclusive Atlanta neighborhood, both attend "the most prestigious prep school in the South," but while narrator Carly thrives on being an individual, Anna's pretty face and developing body earn her a different kind of attention. Carly stands up for her softer sister often (telling their mom to stop treating curvy Anna like she is fat, for example). She realizes, though, that she is jealous of Anna's looks even though "I'm her big sister, who should be above such things." As the sisters get different friends and interests, Carly spends less time with Anna, and they find themselves saying mean things and betraying each other (Anna even hooks up with Carly's crush). The conclusion gets emotionally overwrought with a teary scene in which the sisters turn into "a puddle of ridiculous-ness," but mostly readers will find both the characters and their problems genuine.

Simply Irresistible by Jennifer Banash

in her high rise. She's climbing the social ladder, to the dismay of her neighbor and rival, Madison Macallister. And Casey could end up as popular as Madison now that the two are set to star in their own reality show, "De-Luxe." But reality TV can be so unreal...

Madison loves the attention, but having every bit of her life caught on tape is often less than glamorous. Yet fame comes at a price—and she's willing to pay. Meanwhile, now that Casey and her almost-boyfriend Drew Van Allen are currently more off than on, she's beginning to wonder if everything in her life is just an illusion—and how much longer the illusion can last.

Lexi is here to chat!

Lexi from anotherpageisused.blogspot.com is here for a visit! She has some important stuff to say about child abuse!

Tell us a personal story. Change names please :)
My friend, we'll call her Katie, had a dad who drank a lot. He drank from the minute he woke up until the minute he went to be. Katie never saw her dad sober. When he was drunk he would yell at her, throw things, hit things like the walls and sometimes even her. Her mom knew what was happening and she promised to make it stop but it never did. Katie ended up turning to drugs, alcohol, sex, and cutting. She was always high, always had a boyfriend. She didn't know how to make it stop so just found a way to make it disappear. I had no idea how to help her after she told me what was going on. I didn't know what to say, what to do. She didn't think that anything could ever make it better. I started doing research, I HAD to help her. I wouldn't let things continue the way they were. I made sure that she knew I was there. I made sure that she knew that my door was always open. I listened all of the time and offered my advice when I knew what to say. Katie told my everything after that. She's still dealing with her father, she's still dealing with the drink that both she and her father does, but I think that things are a little different now. Now she knows that without a doubt, I'm here for her. Along with her sister and now, even her mother.

Have you had a friend abused by a boyfriend?
I don't have any friends who have been abused by their BF. I can say that I am very glad about that because I would not put up with that. I would never let a stupid guy hurt someone that I love so much.

Have you or a friend experienced the trauma of rape?
I have personally never been raped, but I do know someone who was. It was very hard to get it out of her because we aren't very good friends, but I'm glad that she told me.

What would you tell a friend who was raped?
I would tell her that she needed to tell an adult that she TRUSTS right away. The trust factor in this is very important. Someone may not be able to tell their mom or an aunt or someone like that. They may have to tell a friend of the family, but that's still a very good option. It can be very hard to talk someone into telling, but it's the most important thing to do because you never know what could happen after someone gets raped.

Child abuse is so important to me. Is it to you?
I think that Child Abuse should be an important issue to everyone. More people go through it then people think. They're are so many different kinds, different forms. Form emotional abuse to physical abuse. I've suffered through emotional abuse, and I can say from experience that most of the time, the person who is saying things and hitting, doesn't really always get the effect of what they're doing.

Any last comments?
Child Abuse can be stopped. People need to know the signs for all of the different kinds, so that one day they can help someone because that's all the person wants, someone to help them, to be there, to care.

If you have been raped contact RAINN 1-800-656-HOPE(4673). Or your local police.

Weekly Mail Call

The first mail call in a while but this is just what I got THIS week.

The Bought:

The Dating Game (The Dating Game Series #1) by Natalie Standiford

Ex-Rating (The Dating Game Series #4) by Natalie Standiford

I'd Tell You I Love You, but Then I'd Have to Kill You by Ally Carter

Reckless (It Girl Series #3) by Cecily von Ziegesar

~Misty: The Wildflowers by VC Andrews~

The given to me:

Courage in Patience by Beth Fehlbaum

A special thanks to Beth for the two copies. As well as for signing both!

Being Nikki by Meg Cabot

And Then Everything Unraveled by Jennifer Sturman

A special thanks to a publishing contact for both of these great books!

What a great week :)

Catching you up...

I have a few things to say today so I'll try to keep this organized!

Contests:
Carol is having two great giveaways. http://bookluver-carol.blogspot.com/2009/04/mackenzie-lost-and-found-contest.html?showComment=1239987180000#c7292307935872162410 and http://bookluver-carol.blogspot.com/2009/04/love-you-hate-you-miss-you-giveaway.html?showComment=1239987000000#c73377058060775769 so check them out!

Also don't forget to enter the two contests I'm hosting. They are not random but all you need to do is comment answering the question in 2 or more sentences. Not so hard? http://booksaremylove.blogspot.com/2009/04/interview_11.html and http://booksaremylove.blogspot.com/2009/04/interview_10.html. The contests end mid-next week.

Bloggers:
After my little rant the other day I received a few emails so i thought it was important to clarify a few things.

When does a new blogger just become a blogger? I guess it was unfair to give a particular month. If you post everyday for a whole month, obviously your doing better than the person who's been around for three yet posts once every other week.

When is it okay to start asking for books? I guess this is a personal choice. If you want to ask from day one go right ahead. Just know you wont be popular among the bloggers. I'd wait AT LEAST two months because you need to be in the swing of things. As a new blogger your still in the developmental stage. It's not fair to an author if they give you a book, yet nobody reads your reviews.

Whats the biggy with ARC's? Did you know ARC's can cost more to an author then actual copies? They aren't having them printed by the thousands so it just can get pricey. Authors deserve to make money. If you want to help them then great! I buy more books than I get from authors. Why? Because they deserve a profit from the incredible amount of work they do.

That's all guys. Email me if you want!

Winner

Using a random generator I have selected the winner of Living Dead Girl.


The winner is....... Lexi! I have emailed you. Please send me your addy!

If you didnt win there ar still chances for the other contests :)

Contest update

Okay so I have some updates you should know about. In order to win my most two recent contests all you have to do is give me a few sentences answering the question. Don't worry about following, you can if you want. All I have to say is you might want to because a special follower contest is coming up...

Thanks guys and PLEASE enter



Also on a side note....

A few minutes ago I was on The Story Sirens blog reading a recent post. It got me thinking... Why do so many bloggers start expecting to receive free books? I know that there are a ton of you out there who don't, so don't get me wrong. It just seems that so many of the newer blogs start after seeing the amount of ARCs that some of us older bloggers receive. I have had my blog for a little over a year. I know that's not super long but that's about the time the book blogging community began to grow. I did not receive any books the first 4 or 5 months that I didn't buy or get from BD's. You need to become known in the blogging community or to be frank, we wont like you. There are still times today I feel outside of some blogging groups. I didn't start when the first group did, but I started before the masses. That leaves me somewhere between an oldie and a newbie. I know for a fact that if when I started if I would have been snotty and expecting to get books I would be on the outs even more. If you want a united group who has your back you need to show respect for authors and bloggers. If you do, you will have a million people watching your back. If you cant respectful nobody is gonna give a cred about you.

That was kinda harsh, I know. But after reading all the stuff Kristy linked it was much needed. Don't go away from this post thinking we hate you if your a newbie. We don't! we want you to have the skills it takes to be well liked in the blogging community. I know I would be willing to chat with any of you new bloggers if you have any questions. I'm sure older bloggers Like http://www.thestorysiren.com/ and http://bookluver-carol.blogspot.com/ would be willing to as well. I didn't ask them, but they are pretty nice so I'm sure they wont mind :)

Pedophile/ Teacher-student relations

Pedophiles are all over. I met one once. He found me on a website when I was 13. He told me I was sexy. That he wanted to meet and F**k me. Very disturbing. Teachers also are having sexual relationships with students. If you get a creepy feeling around a teacher do something!

Urban dictionary: an adult who is sexually attracted to children.

I read a book called Treacherous Love. It was incredible. What this charming teacher did to a young student is crazy. You just want to punch him!

Must Monday

The brightness in our week of discussing child abuse :)

Dont forget to enter the two contests I'm hosting!

Beautiful Disaster (Privilege Series #2) by Kate Brian

Buy it June 2nd.

After wasting away in a mental institution for a year and a half, Ariana Osgood is finally back where she belongs. She has a new look, a new name, and a new life — all thanks to her former friend Briana Leigh Covington.

Now enrolled as a junior at the exclusive Atherton-Pryce boarding school just outside of D.C., Ariana sleeps in Frette sheets, flirts with the captain of the crew team, and gossips with the most beautiful girls on campus. She killed to get back her life of privilege. Just how far will she go to keep it?

Sexual Abuse (Rape)

Sexual Abuse is a really tough topic. Rape is more common than jus movies. I personally knew someone who had been raped at a party. Its scary and serious.
Dictionary.com: any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
Urban Dictionary: A crime. Quite terrible in nature. Often causes sever phycological damage to victim. Forced sexual intercourse. Often very violent in more then just a sexual way. And To force someone to ingage in unwanted sexual activities.

I have read many books about Sex abuse. Speak is one that really stands out. A girl becomes an outcast for calling the cops at a party after being raped by a popular guy.

Impulse is not only abuse but suicide as well. One boy's at the treatment facility for attempting to kill himself because he was raped. His mothers boyfriend raped him so he tried to beat the guy up. That only got him sent to jail.

Living Dead Girl also explores this. A girl was kidnapped as a young child and is forced to have sex with her kidnapper.

Interview

*changes to how to win

There will be no Weekly Mail Call today. Child Abuse Month is more important to me than telling you guys what books I got.


Today we have Beth Fehlbaum, author of Courage In Patience, a story of hope for those who have endured abuse. Available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com

Her website is http://courageinpatience.blogspot.com/




Have you personally experienced child abuse?
Yes. I was sexually abused beginning at age 8, into my teens; I was emotionally abused and also experienced neglect.

When you see children who look scared of their parents what do you want to do?
I want to take the child aside and try to get him or her to talk to me. The thing is, many times, kids are the ones who most try to convince everyone else that things are fine at home.

Teens practically abuse themselves in some of the ways they act. Why do adults feel the need to add to it? Thoughts?
I see what you're saying-- some of the choices teens make are self-destructive. I'm not sure adults think about it in terms of trying to add to it. I think sometimes adults are clumsy in the way they approach teens who are in pain, or the pain they see their kids going through strikes them in a way that they are not prepared to handle, either because of their own "stuff" (history), or because they are unaware of how their actions contribute to the hurt the teen is experiencing-- or because they are so caught up in their own lives they simply do not consider how their lack of understanding is wounding their kids.

Where should a teen or child look for help?
In my book, Courage in Patience, the main character, Ashley, finds help when she is forced by her best friend Lisa to confide in a trusted teacher. If I had felt a connection to a teacher when I was growing up, I think I might have spoken up, too. I am a teacher as well as a writer-- and I try to develop trusting relationships with my students so that they know they can count on me to care about them as people, not "just" as people who take up space in my classroom.

Do you have any advice for a teen who is experiencing domestic violence?
As hard as it is to trust others when you are in an abusive situation, I really encourage you to reach out and talk to teachers or parents of your friends.

Do you think child abuse is one of the worst crimes?
Absolutely-- the thing is, it tends to be a vicious cycle and it is only in telling what is going on and getting help to break the cycle that it is stopped. It takes honesty, courage, a support system, and a skilled mental health professional to navigate the minefield of recovery.

any last thoughts?
Yes: there is hope. Never forget that there is hope, and you are NOT alone.



Contest alert! Beth is giving away a copy of Courage in Patience. This is not a random contest. One winner will be chosen, You must have completed all two tasks.
1. Write a paragraph about what you would do to help a friend OR a time time that you have had to face up to something that was hurting you in any way.
2. Subscribe to my blog
US and Canada only...
Lets get this out there guys!

Interview:

*changes to how to win

Hey guys sorry there will be no fab Friday this week. Child Abuse month is on my heart so much at the moment that I just decided to blow it off. Instead we have an interview with the lovely Jennifer Banash.

Child Abuse effects a child in so many ways. What would you tell an adult who is still feeling traumatized?
I would tell them to find a good therapist and try to work through their issues of fear and anger surrounding the abuse. The most important thing is to break the cycle of physical violence and not engage in abusive behavior yourself.

Should penalties be higher for abusers?
I'm not sure how I feel about that question. I think that abuse is largely a cycle--abusers have generally been abused--whether that abuse be physical or emotional. What they need is help and treatment--not necessarily longer periods of incarceration. I believe in rehabilitation-not vindictive forms of punishment. But that's just my own personal opinion.

Should help be easier for the abused?
In an ideal world, yes. There is so much fear and shame surrounding an abused child, that often they are too scared and ashamed to tell anyone. This makes it all the more important to reach out if you suspect a problem.

Why do you think so many people keep quiet?
Fear of the situation worsening. Shame. Many children believe they are being abused because they've done something wrong, which is never the case. A child is never responsible for their own abuse.

Any personal stuff you have to tell us?
I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household until social services removed me from my home when I was 16. I ran away at 15 and lived on the streets for almost a year just to escape. My mother was a rageaholic, and took out her frustrations on the family, hitting myself, my little brother, and sometimes my stepfather. It was an unbearable way to live, and it really ruined my ability to trust other people--although I'm working on it. Healing is a process--it doesn't happen overnight.

I think this is one of the worst crimes possible. Do you agree?
Yes, because it actively affects and can derail a child's emotional development. Scars can heal, but the damage is irreversible.

Where would you tell teens to look for help?
If someone is abusing you at home, tell a teacher--that's what saved me. I went went to school with a black eye on day, and a teacher got involved.

Any extra advice on getting out?
There are organizations such as www.childhelp.com where you can report abuse and get help. Just Google "child abuse help" and a ton of info and websites will pop up. The most important thing to remember is that being hit is not NORMAL--it's not happening to everyone else--which is what I thought as a kid. You deserve to live without fear.

Any last thoughts?
Although I do come from an abusive background, I do not let that stigma define who I am. I think that kind of attitude can be dangerous. I don't use my abuse to make excuses for myself, and I don't feel sorry for myself either. It wasn't a blessing by any means, but it did make me the person I am today, and I really like that person! I don't think I will ever be able to forgive my parents, but I can't forget either. I look at my recovery from the abuse as a work in progress--there will always be healing to do--there are no quick fixes.



Along with an interview Jennifer is giving away two books. The Elite and In Too Deep. This contest is not a random contest. To win this contest you have two requirements.
1. You must write a paragraph about what the abuser is thinking, feeling and saying well they are hurting the people they should love.
2. You must follow/ subscribe to Jennifer's blog: http://jenniferbanash.wordpress.com/ or my blog. You dont have to do both.

Two winners will be picked, one for each book. Lets get this out there guys. I cant bare to hear of another child being beaten for the most minuscule thing.

US and Canada winners only. Sorry :(

Mental Abuse

Mental Abuse can take place in many forms.
Dictionary.com says its: to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or harshly or coarsely insulting language.

Urban Dictionary (who I dont usually trust) says: The act of or the effects of mentally scaring a person. The effects are often long term.

Bad Girls Club had mental abuse in it. The mother basically degraded her youngest daughter all the time. The youngster was left wondering what she did wrong.

Interview

We will be skipping Wednesday Wishlist for an interview with Barry Eva, aka StoryHeart.

Child Abuse is a touchy subject. How could we remove the rug that covers it?
I think it is becoming less of a touchy subject with a lot less of the "turn the other way" going on. However there is also the fact that you could be accused or investigated even though you have done nothing. Teachers are taught to look out for signs, and a child falling from a bike could produce injuries that they might report. HOWEVER if you have done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide it should never matter ..Better safe than sorry.
I also think that TV programs like Special Victims unit really helps.

Have you had any close encounters?
No, I am lucky I come from a very secure family background and to be quite honest, though obviously it does go on in the UK , child and wife abuse etc seems a lot more common in the US.

What would you tell someone stuck in these situations?
Report.. speak to teacher, speak to friends parents, in the end speak to the police if need be BUT report it!

I beleive this is one of the worst crimes. Do you agree?
There are so many, but yes it is a hanus crime

Should penaltys be higher for the abusers?
Higher than what? What esle can you do? chemical castration?

Any other thoughts on the matter?
Education such as Beth Fehlbaum's wonderful book Courage and Patience which states it's suitable for classroom study

Physical Abuse

What is Physical abuse?
Dictionary.com defines it as: to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way.

I have read several books about physical abuse before I started this. They will not be getting reviews, probably because I already have reviewed them.

A Child Called It is a memoir. I read it in 7th grade and cried nonstop. It was so sad how a parent could treat a child that way. I just wanted to slap the mom silly.

Bad Girls Club has some physical abuse in it. It was not the usual slap or kick or beat stuff. The mom was crazy and would do these insane things to her child. Like leave her to fall into Crater Lake or paint her face.

These books are must reads.

Must Monday

Hey guys this feature will still occur during child abuse month. We need some lighthearted stuff right? :)

Lovestruck Summer by Melissa Walker

Buy it May 5th.

Slept Away by Julie Kraut BUY IT: May 26th

Laney Parker's a city girl through and through. For her, summertime means stepping out of her itchy gray school uniform and into a season of tanning at rooftop swimming pools, sidewalk dining in the Meatpacking District, and—as soon as the parents leave for the Hamptons—parties at her classmates’ apartments.

But this summer Laney’s mother has her own plan for Laney—Camp Timber Tops—and faster than a girl can pack her eye cream, she’s shipped off.

New Contest

Wow another contest so soon! Can you believe it?!

Here are the details!

Book to win: Living Dead Girl
Open to: US and Canada Only
I will select a winner on th 16th!

How to win:
+1 For a comment
+1 For subscribing
+2 For already being a subscriber
+2 For telling me what you'd say to a friend who is being abused
+2 For linking the contest (links please :))
+3 For a post on your blog about my abuse month feature. Give me the link :)

So many chances to enter! Good Luck! Lets get the word out there about abuse guys!

Fab Friday

Even though its Child Abuse Month We still have Fab Friday! I need more people to be interviewed so please email me at princessashley9@gmail.com. We have new questions so you can go again!

This week Lauren from http://laurenscrammedbookshelf.blogspot.com/ is visiting us!

Why did you start blogging?
One day I came upon a couple of blogs like The Story Siren, Book Chic, and Reviewer X and I thought " Wow, that would be a cool thing to do" Since, almost none of my friends read, I never had anyone to talk about books with. So, I thought in creating my blog I would get to meet cool people who love to read as much as I do.

How many people subscribe?
As of January 23, 69 people are followers and according to Google Reader I have 90 people who subscribe. Every time I see those numbers, I simply can't believe that all those people like my blog enough to subscribe. So, if your reading this and you subscribe in some way, thank you so much!

Any advice for new bloggers?
Well if you're a new, start finding other blogs similar to yours and comment, follow, or participate if they are having a contest. Since, that lets us all know that your blog is out there. Also, don't sweat it if you only have a handful of views a day because one day you will go on your site meter thing and be simply amazed that you had 50 or so views the day before.

What is your favorite review you have written?
Hmm, that a hard question. Since I love all of my reviews in some way or another. Though, if I did have to pick a favorite it would have to be my review of Cracked Up To Be by Courtney Summers.

Can we have a snipet?
Of course!
" To say
Cracked Up To Be was an awesome book would be a huge understatement. It was one of the best books I've read this year. Possibly, one of the best books I've ever read!
It was raw and honest in the way that it showed all of Parker's emotions without any limits and how it presented the situations that teenagers face everyday without holding back. Courtney did a great job in developing each character especially with Parker's snarky. She seriously made them jump off the page and come to life starting in the very first chapter. "

Thanks so much for coming Lauren!

Child Abuse

Hey everyone it's child abuse month. This will include rape, mental abuse, physical abuse and pedophilia. I will still keep normal features going but there will be many things about child abuse all month. This is a hard topic but also important. Here are some things to expect:

~Chats about abuse
~A Child Called It
~Bad Girls Club
~Speak
~Impulse
~Treacherous Love
etc.

Thanks guys. Thoughts? Comments?

Read in March

A fairly good month :)

Purge by Sarah Darer Littman

Janie Ryman hates throwing up. So why does she binge eat and then stick her fingers down her throat several times a day? That’s what the doctors and psychiatrists at Golden Slopes hope to help her discover.But first Janie must survive everyday conflicts between the Barfers and the Starvers, attempts by the head psychiatrist to fish painful memories out of her emotional waters, and shifting friendships and alliances among the kids in the ward.

Giving up the V by Serena Robar

Buy it June 9th :)

Sea Change by Aimee Friedman

16-year-old Miranda Merchant is great at science...and not so great with boys. After major drama with her boyfriend and (now ex) best friend, she's happy to spend the summer on small, mysterious Selkie Island, helping her mother sort out her late grandmother's estate.

Bloom by Elizabeth Scott

Lauren has a good life: decent grades, great friends, and a boyfriend every girl lusts after. So why is she so unhappy?

It takes the arrival of Evan Kirkland for Lauren to figure out the answer: She's been holding back. She's been denying herself a bunch of things (like sex) because staying with her loyal and gorgeous boyfriend, Dave, is the "right" thing to do. After all, who would give up the perfect boyfriend?

Killing Britney by Sean Olin, Howard Pyle

Ever since Britney transformed herself from freak-and-geek to the most popular girl at school, her life has been touched by tragedy. First it was her mom, who drowned on a family rafting trip. Then her hockey-star boyfriend, Ricky, was killed in a hit-and-run.

When the deaths continue to pile up, everyone fears for Britney. Sure she's popular, blond, and fabulous.

A Bad Boy Can Be Good for a Girl by Tanya Lee Stone

Josie, Nicolette, and Aviva all get mixed up with a senior boy–a cool, slick, sexy boy who can talk them into doing almost anything he wants. In a blur of high school hormones and personal doubt, each girl struggles with how much to give up and what ultimately to keep for herself. How do girls handle themselves? How much can a boy get away with? And in the end, who comes out on top? A bad boy may always be a bad boy. But this bad boy is about to meet three girls who won’t back down.

Every Young Woman's Battle
by Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn, Stephen Arterburn, Josh McDowell (Foreword by)

Mean Girls
by Hayley DiMarco

Hottie by Jonathon Bernstein

Alison Cole's got it all: She's gorgeous, dating a steamy surfer boy, and has just been crowned Beverly Hills High Freshman Class President. Then during a special "symmetry" surgery, a lightning bolt zaps her, and Alison instantly transforms into Hottie-that is, a totally sizzling superhero with the power to shoot fire from her fingers!

9 books. Not bad :)

Wednesday Wishlist (19)

Second Skin by Jessica Wollman

Appearances can be deceiving. Sam Klein’s found that out firsthand. All she wanted was to be popular. But sometimes what we want is the absolute worst thing for us.

Sam discovers that Kylie, It-girl of Woodlawn High, owes her popular status not to her expensive clothes, highlighted hair, and spot on the cheerleading squad but to a magical second skin. Nobody can actually see it—but they can feel it. And if you’re wearing the skin, you feel incredible. Invincible. Popularity is yours.

So Sam stole the skin from Kylie. Now she’s the most popular girl at school, while Kylie’s social life takes a serious hit. Sam can barely recognize herself. Her old geek clique is history—but are her new friends really people she can count on? The skin is clinging tighter to her each day . . . can Sam get it off before it’s too late?

Sleepaway Girls by Jen Calonita

When Sam's best friend gets her first boyfriend, she's not ready to spend the summer listening to the two of them call each other "pookie." Sick of being a third wheel, Sam applies to be a counselor-in-training at Whispering Pines camp in the New York Catskills. But what she doesn't realize is that it's not going to be all Kumbaya sing-alongs and gooey s'mores. If Ashley, the alpha queen of Whispering Pines, doesn't ruin Sam's summer, then her raging crush on the surfer-blond and flirtatious Hunter just might. At least she has playful Cole, who's always teasing her, but is oh-so-comfortable to hang out with, and the singular gang of girls that become fast friends with Sam-they call themselves the Sleepaway Girls.

Beautiful Disaster (Privilege Series #2) by Kate Brian

After wasting away in a mental institution for a year and a half, Ariana Osgood is finally back where she belongs. She has a new look, a new name, and a new life -- all thanks to her former friend Briana Leigh Covington.

*NO COVER* Girl Stays in the Picture by Melissa de la Cruz

Buy it June 2nd

Totally Fabulous by Michelle Radford

June 2nd :)